Goal Elusive for Feyenoord against Partick Thistle

In a surprise result at The Energy Check Stadium at Firhill, Glasgow, Feyenoord Rotterdam were defeated 2-0 by Partick Thistle FC in their friendly encounter.

Midfielder Luke Sweeney gave Thistle the lead with a penalty in the 58th minute. Forward Graham Mitchell rounded off the Jags victory on 82 minutes with a close-range volley.

Feyenoord have dropped their first two matches against lesser opponents in the pre-season.

“Seventeen shots, four on goal. All is well!,” a grinning Manager Tomas van Dam said to reporters. No one understood at the time that it was a reference to a collegiate prankster movie comedy called “Animal House.”

Feyenoord continue their trip to Scotland with a match against Hearts in two days.

Alt+Feyenoord Open Pre-Season with Draw

Feyenoord Rotterdam were left frustrated by a plucky Plymouth Argyle outfit who withstood a 90-minute barrage to come away from Home Park with a 1-1 draw.

Midfielder Scott Paterson* gave the League Two club the lead with a placed shot from 20 yards in the 12th minute. With time running out, substitute Gjermund ├ůsen scored a powerful shot into the bottom corner to equalize for Feyenoord.

Feyenoord had much the more-potent attack, but poor accuracy left the Eredivisie side short.

* Generated player. There was a Scott Paterson who played for Plymouth in 2000, but this isn’t him unless he’s still playing at age 48.

Plymouth Argyle’s Home Park

Inquiry Launched into Dodgy Scouting

New Alt+Feyenoord voetbal manager Tomas van Dam denied being a bit put off today when a high-priced center-back was recommended to him by Director of Football Martin van Geel. With the players scattered to the winds of off-season, van Dam refused to comment on any bad blood between the two.

“Vakantie gaan,” van Dam replied when asked about an English expletive heard from his offices.

Speculation is that Matt Miazga, a center-back at SC Braga in Liga Nos, was touted by the scout team, despite being below standards. His valuation is also far too high for a transfer in a league where youth development is gospel.

“An inquiry will be made into the scout team. Perhaps we can convince one of the big English clubs to buy our comparable player, Sven van Beek, for $15M. This would pay for a better defender than either in the continental player pool with plenty left over for the grounds-keeping budget.”

Martin van Geel is answerable only to the chairman in Feyenoord’s sporting structure.